Shhh, I'm a pirate. Arrrr.

Customer: Hi, I was looking to use [software package] but it costs a lot of money to buy so I found a pirated version online that I wanted to download but the University's filter blocks it, can you unblock it for me so I can download it?
Me: Uhhh... no, the filter blocks it because it's illegal to download pirated software. We can't unblock it for you to do that.
Customer: Well, can you download it for me so I can use it?
Me: No, I won't do that because it's illegal.
Customer: But I'll only need to use it for half an hour and then I'll delete it, it's not like I'm gonna call the cops on you
Me: Well even if I wanted to I wouldn't be able to because I have the same restrictions that you do, so no, I can't download it.
Customer: Right...ok...bye.

Ha ha

 This is what happens when people look at something new and think "oooooh shiny" and it blinds them to the point that they don't read any instructions or warnings when installing:

From: [Customer] 
Sent: 06 July 2010 14:37 
To: Service Desk 
Subject: Windows 7 
Importance: High

Dear Staff,

Yesterday I borrowd a Windows 7 disc and installed it on my new personal laptop.  Unfortunately, this apears to have deleted all my original manufacturer's installed programmes, as well as my home internet settings and Mcaffee which I installed immediately after following the manufacturer's start-up instructions.  At that time everything was fine.  when I try to use Windows 7 it does not recognise my word or pdf files (I copied a few over via pen stick).  I have no idea how to rectify this problem and the deletions mena that I have no information regarding how to contact the manufacturer. 

I need this laptop to complete a project  and I'm now getting behind.  Pleas can you help? 

Best wishes,

[Customer]