Customer: Hi, I was looking to use [software package] but it costs a lot of money to buy so I found a pirated version online that I wanted to download but the University's filter blocks it, can you unblock it for me so I can download it?
Me: Uhhh... no, the filter blocks it because it's illegal to download pirated software. We can't unblock it for you to do that.
Customer: Well, can you download it for me so I can use it?
Me: No, I won't do that because it's illegal.
Customer: But I'll only need to use it for half an hour and then I'll delete it, it's not like I'm gonna call the cops on you
Me: Well even if I wanted to I wouldn't be able to because I have the same restrictions that you do, so no, I can't download it.